My husband and I had our very first date on Valentine’s Day. And, let me tell you, it wasn’t romantic at all. We had been building our friendship before we decided on a date. And,when we did decide to go on a date, we both agreed that February 14th would work with absolutely no pressure for the romantics of the Hallmark holiday. Our expectations for the day of romance were nonexistent, which, I think, is something that we need to live every day.
We ended up seeing I, Frankenstein at the local AMC, which thankfully served alcohol. The movie was that terrible, in my opinion. I joked to keep the cider coming. Of course, my hubby liked it, such a bro movie. But, either way, we had fun! It was so low key and pressure free.
Each year, we have kept this same mentality, from being a couple, to engaged, to married, and now with a kid. That’s including that fact that its our date-averssary, which is very much a millennial celebratory event now. We may exchange a quick kiss before starting the day, and a quick happy anniversary and Valentine’s Day, but we see our celebrations of love throughout the year; not just confined to a single day.
There has always been such a pressure on being happily in a relationship when V-Day comes around. I can strongly remember the feelings of neglect and exclusion in middle school, and the feelings of excitement and popularity in high school when I did have a boyfriend. There was always the never ending guesses of what I would be surprised with, or who would pay me attention.
As I’ve gotten older, though, and have dated, and now am married, I see how desperately naive it is to worry about this one commercial holiday. Why do we feel that our love has to be expressed on just this one day? Or with lots of gifts of flowers, giant teddys, or chocolates (though, I will NEVER say ‘no’ to chocolate)?
I see love every day through the thank you’s from our daughter when we help her with something.
I see love with the kisses from my puppy.
I feel love when my husband gives me a big hug for no reason, or let’s me kick up my legs on his lap on the couch after a long day.
I see love from a smile from a stranger in the grocery store.
I see love when a friend texts me out of the blue just because they were thinking of me.
I see love in kindness, patience, service.
Love is all day, every day, when we look for it. And, it doesn’t have to be romantic. Its showing that you care. I think we need to lower the pressure and expectations to encourage love day as an every day thing, not some major event to waste money on for just one day.
This can be extremely hard of you are single, and I get that. I’ve been in that position before too. Maybe instead of expecting to receive, give. Give your love to your friends, family members, or even brighten a stranger’s day by showing some love. And, let that be an every day practice. Instead of being bitter, let’s be better. Let’s make life one big day of love, instead of one small Hallmark reason to buy heart-shaped everything.
And, remember, friends, I love you every day, for exactly who you are!
So, tonight, as many get ready for fancy dates and dinners, I will most likely be watching a scrappy movie with my hubs, per tradition, while he enjoys a drink, since this prego momma, sips on her yak (water). 😂
Happy Valentine’s Day!